Honoring special women

Honoring Special Women

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Today I honor all the women who read my jottings and I trust you—all the men as well—will do the same by honoring the special women in your lives. Some of the qualities I most admire in women are courage, compassion, integrity and love.

As I watch and listen to the unfolding tragedy that is going on in Ukraine and neighboring countries today, I am so utterly saddened. But because today, March 8 is International Women’s Day, I find myself reflecting on two special people who have touched my life from that part of the world—a Ukrainian and a Pole. They both introduced me to this very special day that is celebrated in their cultures. As things unfold in their countries I watch in amazement as Poles graciously help Ukrainian women and children escape to safety.

I had never heard of International Women’s Day until several years ago. I knew that March has become the month to honor women in the United States. But I first learned about it at one of my tango nights. One year on March 8, Inga, a Ukrainian woman who organized our group, brought sweets and flowers for all the women. We have a lot of Eastern Europeans in our tango community. This was my first introduction to this celebratory day. Inga continues to do this every year on or around March 8.

A couple of years later when I was having my kitchen remodeled, Christopher, a very pleasant Polish man was doing most of the work. One day in March, I opened the door for him and he immediately bowed to me and gave me a box of candy. I was so moved! He later explained that this day was a really big deal in his country. ALL women are honored on that day–not just mothers—and they are treated like queens.

Origins of honoring women

This day was actually first observed in New York in 1909. But Clara Zetkin, a German feminist, pushed for it to be a holiday in 1910. It really took off in Europe and especially in Russia. There, striking women workers sparked the February Revolution on International Women’s Day in 1917. It later spread across the world as an important day to recognize the contributions women have made to both family and the economy. Dozens of countries mark it as an official or unofficial holiday—from Brazil to Afghanistan to Nepal.  In addition to flowers and candy, there are often parades and protests.

I suspect, that even though there is much disruption in these countries today, there will be tiny moments taken to celebrate the courageous women involved in this crisis. And perhaps we can honor these women and all women by honoring our own special women!

Check our my free classes: iRest Meditation and Hanna Somatic Movement–a gentle movement practice to release pain and enhance mobility.

dirty windows

Clearing the Way

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Life is constantly presenting us with opportunities to learn, grow, love, and live more fully. Yet, we sometimes are stuck or bogged down in situations or relationships that cloud our view and prevent us from moving forward. It’s as if we no longer see the blue sky because we’re looking through dirty windows. In order to see blue sky again we must understand what is obstructing our path. Continue reading→

lifespan

Whole and Complete as You Are

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Not long ago, I read that our average lifespan is 30,000 days. How many days have you already used up and how many might you have left?

Life is so precious. Each day is a blessing that holds a responsibility to express your special gifts into the world. What would your days be like if you weren’t bogged down by the past, reacting emotionally in the present, or anxious about the future? What if you could feel really at home and at peace in your skin, be in tune with the deepest desire for your life and express your best self in the world?Continue reading→

Uncover Your Motivating Passions

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In my last post, “Your Passions: Pathway to the ‘Real You‘,” I shared how knowing and engaging your passions, with what and whom you truly love, helps to align you with your life purpose and what gives meaning to your life.  This generates a spark of aliveness that becomes a powerful motivating factor in your living a truly fulfilling life. Now I let’s explore how to uncover your passions.

optimism-new-eyesProust said: “The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Getting Started
I like to help people start to uncover their passions by reflecting on their greatest achievements, what they are most proud of, and reviewing their strengths, talents, skills. This can provide fodder for opening your eyes to your true passions.

People often say: “I really haven’t achieved anything important.”

Please don’t compare yourself to others. Instead, reflect on what you feel good about or where, even in some small way, you made a difference. Your strengths, talents and skills are what you do naturally with ease or what gets you through challenging situations.

We also look at what you treasure and love most in life and the people who have inspired you and why. Everyone can come up with a list of these. We don’t discount anything, even if it may seem incidental.

We explore what you stand for. This can relate to family, friends, nature, cultural, civic, work, morals, beliefs, faith, etc. This is a brainstorming project, like an “archaeological dig” where everything can provide clues.

We reflect on unfulfilled dreams and aspirations. We look at what you truly want for your life. This is not about material things. Rather, it’s your deepest heart’s desire, or how you want to live or be in your life.

We shine a light on all of these things inside you. We can then sift and examine each part, like fragments of different aspects of yourself, and determine what fits and what may no longer serve you.

We’re now ready for the next step.

The Passion Test

Here is where I draw from an inspiring little book called, The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose, by Janet Atwood and Chris Atwood. Take your FREE Personal Passion Test Profile Here.

List 10-15 passions that would give you a life of joy, passion and fulfillment reviewing all the information we’ve compiled for clues. The heading of this page is: When my life is ideal, I am…. List each passion in short concise sentences each starting with words like: being, doing, having.

Essentially you are writing these statements in the present tense as though you are already experiencing them. For example: being creative, or inspiring others…………Passions are not goals or what you want to achieve, rather how you want to live your life.

Next you select your top five passions by comparing the first to the second, second to the third, etc. much like an eye exam. Once you have these listed you determine markers. A marker is actual evidence that you are indeed living that passion.

People are often surprised when they have come to me to find a path to a better job or career path, we find that most of their passions appear to have nothing to do with work. This is okay, since we are looking at the whole of you.

Once you define and refine your passions and start living them, the work or career piece falls into place quite naturally with often unexpected surprises.

In a future article I will discuss how to engage your passions – how to match your unique gifts to your passions and overcome obstacles. In the meantime, you have plenty to keep you busy. This process is truly a gift you give yourself.

As my mentor, Richard Miller, often says, “What you do for yourself you do for others. What you do for others you do for yourself.”

Are you ready to start uncovering your motivating passions? Join one of my upcoming “What’s Next in Your Life” courses to get you started.

Your Passions: Pathway to the “Real You”

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shakespeare

“To thine own self be true,” wrote Shakespeare. Yet, how many of us are living a life being true to ourselves?

In fact, how many of us actually know what that means?

We start out as youngsters with dreams, passions and aspirations that often become stifled by well-meaning family members, teachers, friends, limitations of resources, or our inability to find our true path. We complete our studies and training and then find ourselves in jobs, careers and situations that seem right at first, but later fall flat.

We can always find a fork in road, though and an opportunity to re-align with the “Real You.” While there are many pathways to accomplish this, one is to uncover and engage your true passions.

It’s never too late to re-generate that spark of aliveness we have when we engage with what and whom we truly love. Identifying your true passions aligns you with your life purpose and what gives meaning to your life.

Inner fire

Inner fire

Passions get your inner fire burning and motivate you. They help you develop an inner compass that guides you to making better life choices. Following your passions is following your heart and connecting most profoundly with the Real You.

In my work as a life coach I frequently engage with clients who may be good at what they do, but are not fully living their passions. Often, your relationships may be great but the job is unfulfilling – or vice versa. Sometimes neither is satisfying.

For one of my clients, his family encouraged him to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a trial attorney. He became very good at his profession, but his compassionate caring nature was being stifled. For many years he had been taking time from work fulfilling his true passion by volunteering with communities and disadvantaged children both here and abroad. Finally at midlife and in a loving and supportive relationship, he started examining his life and passions. He decided to go back to school to train to become a special needs teacher and move to an area of the country that fed his spirit.

But I have no passions!

I commonly hear this from my clients and students: “I’m not passionate about anything.”
For some people passion is too strong a word.

Another way to view passion is to reflect on the things you care about – what you truly value and what provides meaning. When you feel in the zone, when you ask, “where did the time go?” you’re doing your passion.

open arms - anewIt’s what gets you up in the morning
– or would if you were living your passion.

Your passions can be found in aspects of your work, projects you do, talents you engage, play, hanging out with friends or family, caring for others, being in nature, your faith or spirituality, volunteering…what brings you joy or inner peace.

There are a myriad of potential passions inside waiting to become fully embodied. Your job is to identify the strongest ones and take steps towards bringing them fully to life.

What’s inside the real you?

We’ll explore this in our next issue.

10 Steps to Heartfelt Goals!

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We all start each new year off with good intentions, yet studies show that while 50% of people are initially optimistic about their goals, only 12% actually fulfill them. If you’re part of the other 88% there is still time to transform those resolutions into reality. I’d like to share 10 steps based on current brain research to get you on the pathway to achieving what you truly want.

The root of the word resolution, or resolve, originates with the Latin “resolvere,” which means to unfasten, loosen, release. In order to hold our goals firm and steadfast to their ultimate resolution, we also must remove the obstacles that prevent them from manifesting. Beyond the specific intention or goal is our “heartfelt desire,” which motivates and fuels us to keep us moving toward the goal.

1.  Prepare your mind:
yawn11If you haven’t already done so, quickly write down the first 10 goals that pop into your mind. Once you’ve completed this process – tear it up. Really! This clears your mind of old ideas or beliefs tied to old behaviors. Then get up and stretch, shake your body and walk around the room. Finally, sit down and
YAWN…..several times! This helps you to create a beginners mind allowing you to tune into your insight and intuition. Studies show these techniques provide the best way to calm an over active mind and heighten consciousness.

Heart - love in action2. What is your heart’s deepest desire?
Take time to open your heart to find what you truly care about and what matters to you. Continue questioning and see what words or phrases bubble up from the heart. Repeat them silently and aloud. Continue to do this for a week until you have it fully formulated with a heart-felt sense of what matters to you.

3. Select goals
Based on your deepest heart’s desire, ask yourself, “What are three deepest desires or goals that I can realistically achieve by the end of the year?” Not just what you desire, but what you know you have the wherewithal to fulfill. This is one of the most important questions you can ask as it changes the nature of your resolutions or goals based on a deeper purpose aligned with the real you.

4. Make a commitment
For each goal ask, “Am I 100 percent willing to commit to achieving this goal?” If there any doubts, simplify or modify it.

5. Envision your resolutions or goals
With your Heartfelt Desire in mind, examine each goal addressing:

*  Good things that will happen as a result of the goal
– vision of a clear and positive outcome
*  One or two obstacles that could get in the way.
*  Counter strategies to address the obstacles to resolve them and release them.

Record this on small cards as a visual commitment. Also, create a vision board filling a poster board with words and pictures representing the outcomes you envision. Display this strategically along with your vision cards. Allow yourself to really feel this outcome from a visceral sense. Keep your vision in its feeling alive in your consciousness by reflecting on it regularly.

“We become what we think about all day long.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

vision board6. Share your vision or goal
Tell many people about your goal – those you trust who have your best interests in mind. Then find an accountability partner who can help you stay the course and offer encouragement when you might falter.

7. Write a detailed plan
Include step-by-step tactics you will undertake with specific dates to reach each stage of the plan. Then share it with others and accountability partner and brainstorm to make it better.

8. Keep a journal
Begin each day recording three things you are grateful for. This sets up a positive attitude for the day. At the end of the day record three things you did well, and explain why. Make this your Gratitude and Accomplishment Journal – a great reflection tool to help you stay in harmony with the outcome you seek.

positive mantra9. Increase your Positivity Ratio
Research has shown that when you are able to counter each negative expression you have been using in your life with three positive ones, your life will change for the better. Five or ten positives will transform your life.

10. Reward Yourself
Plan a small “prize” for accomplishing any part of a goal at the end of each week. Don’t beat yourself up even if you did nothing. Crush pessimism and self-doubt quickly with positive words. Be kind to yourself. There’s always another week ahead. We often take steps backwards as we are moving forwards.

Ultimately it doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach your goal.
Keep your focus on your Heartfelt Desire.

How to Get High on Your Life

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Will the economy ever return to providing the good times we once took for granted?  Greed and mismanagement have shown their ugly face and, as a result, millions in our nation are suffering. Those who can still afford the high life are a privileged elite.

getting-highActually we can all live the high life – in a natural humanistic way – with the “Givers High.” The good news is that the means for experiencing this high, in terms of body-mind health, better relationships and spiritual well-being, is available to virtually everyone. Plenty of research studies support how performing acts of kindness contributes to a longer, healthier, happier life.

Getting the “givers high” doesn’t require money, drugs, material possessions, or expensive entertainment. In fact, even if you’ve had to downsize, minimize and simplify, you can still enjoy a richly rewarding and meaningful life. This elevated state can be easily realized by showing concern for others, being a good empathetic friend, reaching out to help a neighbor, mentoring, or volunteering in our community.

Change of heart
|I sense that our society may very well be at a tipping point for positive change. Perhaps this is a time for cleansing and moving from a society enveloped in secrecy, power and greed, to one that recognizes the basic human values of truth, transparency, compassion and interdependence. We are, after all, social beings here on Earth to help one another.

This change is evident in a new breed of humanitarian warriors. A remarkable journey is portrayed in Eric Greiten’s book, “The Heart and the Fist: the Education of a Humanitarian, the Making of a Navy SEAL.”

Before becoming a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford, Greiten volunteered in Bosnia, Rwanda, and Bolivia serving war-affected children. Integrating his studies and experience with deployments as a Navy SEAL fighting terrorism in Iraq and Afghanistan, he learned that “without courage, compassion falters, and without compassion, courage has no direction.” Returning home, he started Mission Continues, an organization to help empower wounded and disabled veterans start new lives as citizen leaders here at home.

Our wired nature
Lots of research shows we are hard-wired to commit acts of kindness and generosity We are all natural born givers—it’s a primal urge. As early as a baby’s first birthday, she demonstrates the need and ability to empathize, connect, care and share. Her soothing and caring expressions melt our hearts, reigniting the joyful, caring child within us. Hanging out with babies can bring out the best in us.

The Dalai Lama says that “our primary purpose is to help others.” He believes that a major paradigm shift of this millennium is from the belief that “parents raise children” to one in which “children raise parents.” There does seem to be a trend among younger people toward getting high by living more consciously, as vegans, protectors of the environment, doing good deeds and finding new ways to connect. Whatever negatives may exist with social networking, the younger generation is living with greater transparency and interconnectedness than previous generations.

This natural givers instinct undeniably blossoms most clearly in the roles of parent, friend, mentor, worker, teammate, and creator.  Similar to the “runners high,” Greitin sees that, in the process of giving, the brain releases natural opiates, endorphins and calming hormones such as oxytocin.

In our next article we explore more benefits to “getting high on giving,” and inspiration for giving of your best self.

Experience a Mini iRest with Jacqui

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Click lower right-hand corner for FULL SCREEN

Take a few minutes to reduce your stress with this video meditation guided by Jacqui Neurauter.

What is iRest?

The Integrative Restoration, iRest protocol is a guided deep relaxation meditation and inquiry practice that is profoundly transformative. When the nervous system is calmed, one experiences alleviation of stress, anxiety, fear and anger, resulting in lasting psychological change, as well as physical and emotional healing.

For more information on iRest meditation courses or for a personal consultation contact Jacqui Neurauter at 847-359-6391

Harmonize–R as in Responsibility

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(A continuing series exploring the “HARMONIZE” formula
for achieving success on your pathways through life)

red fall leaves Whenever I am able or feel called, I seek ways to transform disharmony into harmony. Life is chock-full of responsibilities to our family, relationships, job, community and country, as well as to our health and well-being. We each must find our own path where we can best apply our skills, talents and capabilities. Every responsibility has its challenges, requiring us to dance between stress and harmony, seeking balance and resolution. The truer we are to our own nature, what we care about and what’s important to us, the easier it is to fulfill our responsibilities.

Responsibility is an action word whose roots are “response” and “able.” A responsible person is reliable, dependable and trustworthy. They are people who answer the call when you need them. Living responsibly requires you to be flexible to life and the needs around you. It asks you to examine your capabilities and then to respond accordingly.

Trust can only be earned when you demonstrate you have the ability to do the job and come from a place of truthfulness and honesty. Thus your actions are not based on, “I have to,” but rather “I want to,” from a place of caring and/or compassion. If resentment contaminates your thoughts and feelings, your actions will reflect this and trust can be lost. Living true to your own nature, honoring your values, purpose and beliefs, you make better choices in determining where you want to put your energies.

Maintaining Harmony and Balance
Often responsibilities are thrust upon us when we feel we have no choice, or, they become greater than we could have imagined. Early this year I discovered that Mae, an 89 year old family friend, was declining and needed to move into senior housing. With no children to help her, I felt compelled to take on the responsibility of helping her make this transition. Little did I know that this would later turn into becoming her caregiver, helping her handle her financial affairs and ongoing healthcare issues.

Helping Mae, has required me to rearrange my work schedule and personal life around her needs and issues. I do this both because I care about her and because I know she couldn’t do this alone. I am also mindful of my ability to serve that need and make a difference. While seeking to create harmony in her life, however, I am constantly being mindful of maintaining harmony and balance in my own.

The analogy of flying in an airplane and putting the oxygen mask on oneself first, then on those less capable, is a great lesson in the dance of fulfilling our responsibilities. More and more baby boomers, often referred to as the “sandwich generation,” are finding themselves in the midst of care giving at both ends – for children and elders.

A key component to harmonizing your life pathways with responsibilities is to consciously discover ways to feel gratitude for having the opportunity to do the job, help someone achieve a result or make a difference.

Check out other posts in this series:

  • Harmonize with Accord and Agreement
  • Harmonize with Heart and Home

QUESTIONS TO PONDER

What challenges do you have in handling responsibilities?

What possible changes you could make?

What ways have you been able to harmonize your life while handling responsibilities?

Harmonize–A as in Agreement & Accord

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(A continuing series exploring the “HARMONIZE” formula
for harmonizing your pathways through life)

To live in harmony is to live in agreement with the life path you are navigating. The “A” in the word HARMONIZE asks you to live with agreements   and choices based on the real authentic you, not on other people’s agendas. An agreement isn’t just a legal document you sign when you accept a job,  get married, buy a car or a house. Agreements are made each and every moment of your life.

We fall out of the womb into a template of beliefs and circumstances that our parents had already constructed for us. It’s a no-brainer, it seems! I was born into a household with a lot of anger, unhappiness, power struggles and being told, “you never do anything right.” This became the norm for me and I dutifully agreed to comply with my template. Yet, along the way I learned that this wasn’t the way everyone lived. Some of my peers actually received messages like, “you can do or be anything you want in life.” How lucky they were, I thought.

Press delete
The truth, I have learned, is that the messages we receive throughout life are simply that. Like voice mail messages, we have the choice to agree to   them or not, follow up with them or delete them. The gift of branching out into the world is the opportunity to learn how other people live. If your life was filled with positive reinforcement, understanding how the opposite can negatively influence people’s beliefs and choices in life can help you have greater compassion for their behavior.

What’s so wonderful about life is that past agreements need not imprison you for life. At any moment you have the freedom to change your beliefs and agreements and make better choices. This liberation is realized when you are living in accordance with the “real you” – the truth of who you really are. The root of the word accord means heart or mind. When your heart and mind are in agreement you are liberated to live your truth.

Discovery
How do you discover your truth? For me, meditation, self-reflection, writing and sharing with trusted friends have been some of the ways that have worked for me. Being conscious, catching myself when I find myself operating or reacting to a situation based on old beliefs. My clients are some of my best teachers! Often the very challenge they are struggling with reminds me of an old agreement pattern that still peeks up its head in my life.

What is holding you back from a harmonious life? What beliefs and agreements are behind these obstacles? Make a list, choose one and then challenge it. Ask questions like,” is it true?” Can you absolutely prove it?” Download worksheets on “The Work of Byron Katie” website for simple processes to help you come into agreement and accordance with the “real you.” Also read, Don Miguel Ruiz’ book, “The Four Agreements.”

Join me for the next edition of this series.

Please share your comments below:

What agreements do you want to change?

What obsticles are getting in your way?

What processes have helped you create agreements and live in accordance with your true nature?