(A continuing series exploring the “HARMONIZE” formula
for harmonizing your pathways through life)
To live in harmony is to live in agreement with the life path you are navigating. The “A” in the word HARMONIZE asks you to live with agreements and choices based on the real authentic you, not on other people’s agendas. An agreement isn’t just a legal document you sign when you accept a job, get married, buy a car or a house. Agreements are made each and every moment of your life.
We fall out of the womb into a template of beliefs and circumstances that our parents had already constructed for us. It’s a no-brainer, it seems! I was born into a household with a lot of anger, unhappiness, power struggles and being told, “you never do anything right.” This became the norm for me and I dutifully agreed to comply with my template. Yet, along the way I learned that this wasn’t the way everyone lived. Some of my peers actually received messages like, “you can do or be anything you want in life.” How lucky they were, I thought.
The truth, I have learned, is that the messages we receive throughout life are simply that. Like voice mail messages, we have the choice to agree to them or not, follow up with them or delete them. The gift of branching out into the world is the opportunity to learn how other people live. If your life was filled with positive reinforcement, understanding how the opposite can negatively influence people’s beliefs and choices in life can help you have greater compassion for their behavior.
What’s so wonderful about life is that past agreements need not imprison you for life. At any moment you have the freedom to change your beliefs and agreements and make better choices. This liberation is realized when you are living in accordance with the “real you” – the truth of who you really are. The root of the word accord means heart or mind. When your heart and mind are in agreement you are liberated to live your truth.
How do you discover your truth? For me, meditation, self-reflection, writing and sharing with trusted friends have been some of the ways that have worked for me. Being conscious, catching myself when I find myself operating or reacting to a situation based on old beliefs. My clients are some of my best teachers! Often the very challenge they are struggling with reminds me of an old agreement pattern that still peeks up its head in my life.
What is holding you back from a harmonious life? What beliefs and agreements are behind these obstacles? Make a list, choose one and then challenge it. Ask questions like,” is it true?” Can you absolutely prove it?” Download worksheets on “The Work of Byron Katie” website for simple processes to help you come into agreement and accordance with the “real you.” Also read, Don Miguel Ruiz’ book, “The Four Agreements.”
Join me for the next edition of this series.
Please share your comments below:
What agreements do you want to change?
What obsticles are getting in your way?
What processes have helped you create agreements and live in accordance with your true nature?